Ever think back to a specific person, a specific memory and kind of shock yourself at everything you are capable of feeling? Feeling is the master puppeteer, connected to our minds through thin strands of non discernment.
Sometimes the thoughts become pain, sometimes you really can’t bear it, but pain becomes memory… in its own time. So it’s okay. You’re okay.
These upcoming months I’ll be doing a collective of stories, poems, photography, music, and artwork created by the community (aka people I know, people I’ve sought out just for this, and people who’ve come up to me and wanted to create something) all under the topic “Feelings”.
Today it’s all about you.
An Author’s Muse
You have inspired me
All of this is for you
Every manifestation and detail contemplated
You have inspired me
The emotions: sorrow, elation, frustration
Lyricists write songs about you
Actors perform characters like you
Writers write tales in your honor
You are my inspiration
An inspiration that has burrowed inside for unknown reasons
Metamorphosis quick as seasons
My hopes are to move on from you and find a new birth
One that lasts and creates expansive ambivalence
There are two options
That you never see this and never see the truths
Or that you discover all the thoughts
You realize how important you have become
A vast sky of constellations
I am lying down
Thinking about what to put down and express myself
I think about letting go, memories, us
Thoughts go straight back to you
In fact its 11:48pm and I’m thinking about you and how we have not spoken in weeks
I want to be honest but even at 11:49pm I cannot be honest with the way I feel
Around you I feel confident about being vulnerable and emotional
Because if you were here at 11:50pm you would not mind honesty
In fact I remember a time when you pleaded for my honesty, expressions and tears
But where have you been these untracked days
Was it a mistake?
Maybe word choices
Could it have been mannerisms and over expression?
It’s 11:54pm and currently my eyes are watering; blurring
Frustration is bubbling inside because I am not sure if you or I am at wrong
Why say you care if you do not act on it
11:55pm my mind is going blank
Tired of these games
I don’t know what to do
I want to be honest and creative; a poet or lyricist
But you are poisoning me with this idea of us at 11:58pm
Is it a coincidence that I am in literal pain as I think of you?
And at 12:00am all I want is you, again
I am the Earth
You are all of my natural disasters
My stalwart surface cracks with a quake of anxiety
Trembling as physicality becomes altered
Transforming the shape
A forest consuming fire of passion
You have become emotions and thoughts raging inside
Great floods engulf me with sadness
The depression is drowning me
Tornadoes twist and pull apart what is inside
The emotions pulled together by wind
Causing a swirling mix of emotions
I am trying to keep myself intact
But I continuously let you bombard me with attacks
Hurricanes, tsunamis, volcanic eruptions, hailstorms
I give you pieces of me and you manipulate it back
Blizzards, sandstorms, monsoons, heatwaves
Silly is it not
How you have become a part of me
All of these natural forms of rebirth
You as a plague of destruction
Omar Muñoz – the author of the above poems – is a world changer, an artist, but most importantly he is family. If you want to see more created by this (amazing!!) man add him @omarmazing on Snapchat and follow his Instagram.
Also, definitely buy his poetry book ’cause it’s freakishly amazing.
Just kidding… 😉 he doesn’t have one but he should because he’s really really great and 10/10 would sell out in one week.